(I'm not even sure if this title makes any sense but here it goes..)
I doubt a lot of things, I don't know most of other things, and I'm pretty sure that some of the things that I do know of aren't that important to know. But there is one thing I know, one thing I can never doubt. A fact I am sure of, and that is that one day my life will suddenly flash before my eyes, without a heads-up and faster than lightning.
Death isn't what I'm trying to discuss here. It's that split second a person goes through that I'm concerned about. The second which sums up all the good and bad. The second you remember all of the things you've done, and regret the things you've always wanted to do but just backed out. Of course I fear death! I mean, who doesn't? But HECK! I'm more scared of regret.
Everyone I know and love is here with me. As if they form a circle and I stand in the middle. That is something I press my face against the floor and thank God for every night. Thank Him for their presence in my life. But the thing is, they're only here for now. Now won't live forever. Now will one day become a back then or a remember when, and as time goes by we'll eventually forget about what was once a now.
Now, right now, I have a list of plans I want to do with each and every family member, friend and acquaintance. And now I live with the fear of losing someone dear to me without ever getting the chance to cross out whatever I planned for us to do together.
I meet people and as time goes by and we grow closer, I think to myself "That's the person I want to be best friends with for a while." or "That's the person I want to have Korean dinner with on Thursdays" or "That's the person I want to jump off a plane with someday." or "These are the people I want to go on a skiing trip with.". And I just imagine myself doing these things with people I know...Wistfully. And I ask myself? Why wistfully? Why can't I just tell every single person about what I've planned for us and just make it happen!
And I actually thought of it!
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I've always wanted to take my father on a road trip somewhere in Spain or Italy, stop by olive farms and go pick olives together. My dad loves olives. I just want to go and pick as many olives as we can, just because he loves them...so much! Then, I won't ever have to regret not taking my father to pick olives together in Europe.
Two of my best friends and I do nothing but call each other bad words (This is actually very enjoyable).
So, Sheriene and Aly, I promise you that one day the three of us will sit on a rooftop and shout at each other as loud as we can and call each other the worst and dirtiest names ever!
As soon as we turn 21, my best friend and I are going to buy two tickets to The Maldives Islands, stay there for a week and forget the whole world.
Two weeks ago my friend was daydreaming about travelling on a train across Europe's countrysides. He just wants to gaze upon the beauty of the lands that he'll pass by. I promise you, one day we'll hop on a train together and we'll travel across French, Italian, Spanish, Swiss, German and every other European countryside.
We used to lie, all four of us, on Shamse's couch waiting for our Maths teacher to come, making plans for the holidays. We've always wanted to go cycling in the streets of Zamalek. Guys, we're going cycling! I don't know when, but we're going!
My cousins and I were in London earlier this summer. A few weeks before travelling, my cousin and I got the address of a karaoke place and promised the rest that we'll go there as soon as we land in London. One night after dinner, we grabbed our umbrellas and walked for hours in the rain looking for W1 14 Madisson Street. We never found it. But next year, or the year after that, or maybe even ten years from now, we'll go back there and we will spend the best karaoke night in London.
There's one plan I have in mind, but all what's missing is the company. Actually, I had this planned out for whoever I'll marry someday. I went to a place called La Costa Brava in Spain, where my parents stayed for only 4 hours, I was dying to spend a couple of nights there to get to explore the place, but I didn't. On my way back I promised myself that only one person will go with me back there, and since I don't know who I'm marrying, you should know that one day I'll take you on a three-hour long bus drive (very tiring), you'll probably curse the day you agreed to let me drag you along, but I promise you as soon as we get there, you'll be so happy that..well I don't know what you'll do.
I'll take you for a walk in the old streets of La Costa Brava, we'll have paella at sunset and we'll leave before it gets too dark (Yes, we won't spend the night because that place is so beautiful that you HAVE to leave wanting more..So you can always go back.) (And I apologize for this sappy part, I'm not usually like this.)
God, I have so many things in mind. I want to take my mom to an English restaurant and order everything on the menu. I made plans with an acquaintance who I only met twice to one day go to a masquerade ball together somewhere in Russia, I think..My grandmother and I want to cook each and every recipe in a cook book. I promised my brother that I'll take him to Harry Potter's studios in London because we didn't get the chance to go there. I also want to travel the world with 5 different people and wow that's too much!
And if I really do all of these things one day, then I will no longer fear that split second that will make me regret not doing anything I wanted to do in my life with someone I love before I die.
Anyway, I just wanted to let this out and to tell each and every one I know how much I appreciate them. And I couldn't be more thankful to have you as my relative or friend!
